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katimus_prime) wrote2019-02-28 12:39 pm
katimus_prime) wrote2019-02-28 12:39 pm
Big OT hours + Guilt over being sick
OT started for us the weekend of Katsucon, and I also got hit with pneumonia at the same time.
With the exception of 3 hours last week, I didn't work at All. I stayed home and I got to physically rest, which was very nice. I don't think I've gotten such a big consecutive non-holiday work break since ever.
I still want to go back home and rest, but I've also felt extremely isolated and it's given me pause. Deep down, I really do love people and want to be around them. I've acquired some surface anxiety due to the open office floor plans in regards to personal space and noise but I'm trying to beat those back as much as I can, because I don't want to come off as unfriendly.
They backed down on the mandatory part of OT this week and I am hella grateful, but also the guilt of not being able to work it is huge. It's yet another instance of the wants of others butting up against my needs. If I weren't sick, I'd be all about this, because the more we get done, the less OT there will have to be overall, but I'm having trouble breathing if I push myself too hard. Talking takes a physical toll on me.
I want to stay home but I want to work and I can't have both.
With the exception of 3 hours last week, I didn't work at All. I stayed home and I got to physically rest, which was very nice. I don't think I've gotten such a big consecutive non-holiday work break since ever.
I still want to go back home and rest, but I've also felt extremely isolated and it's given me pause. Deep down, I really do love people and want to be around them. I've acquired some surface anxiety due to the open office floor plans in regards to personal space and noise but I'm trying to beat those back as much as I can, because I don't want to come off as unfriendly.
They backed down on the mandatory part of OT this week and I am hella grateful, but also the guilt of not being able to work it is huge. It's yet another instance of the wants of others butting up against my needs. If I weren't sick, I'd be all about this, because the more we get done, the less OT there will have to be overall, but I'm having trouble breathing if I push myself too hard. Talking takes a physical toll on me.
I want to stay home but I want to work and I can't have both.