Solitary

Sep. 9th, 2015 09:17 pm
katimus_prime: Lyrics from Covenant: https://youtu.be/yBS6WaS0Sfk (Cherenkov - Brave New World)
Something I never realized is how much of a rash Tumblr has given me from squeezing me so close together with the opinions of people I adore but don't agree with. Lots and lots of talented, wonderful people, and the social expectation of having to spend x amount of time in each and everyone's head, carefully reading all of their headcanons I have varying degrees of disagreements with, has driven me insane.

In one hand, this is a good thing, because I've finally been able to act on my level of discomfort with FF7, which has been a stone around my neck for at least a decade. On the other hand, it's kind of sad to realize that I'm comfortable with bigger barriers between myself and my non-immediate friend circle.

I certainly don't want to be cut off forever from my friends, but I don't want to be so close that I can't express how much I disagree with them, but don't want to risk or waste the day to write an argument over public interbutt space with someone I otherwise admire.

The same thing happened when I was growing up with my best friend Kelly at the time. We were so close that we were in each others' heads half the time, but when we both started developing different opposing opinions, it was too comfortable to be close anymore. Even though I've patched things up with Kelly, it took years and a complete break away from her to realize how and why things got bad.

TL;DR, Tumblr made me forget that I like having a space where there's nobody there but me.
katimus_prime: http://www.brusheezy.com/brush/1239-Grungeset (Dune - Maclachlan 1)
Title: Asymptote (Chapter 1-1)
Fandom: Xenogears
Themes: Romance, self-introspection, confession of love
Warnings: Strong language, Krelian-negative, Miang-negative
Relationships: Dominia/Ramsus, Sigurd/Ramsus (implied), Miang/Ramsus (over)

as·ymp·tote
ˈasəm(p)ˌtōt/
noun

noun: asymptote; plural noun: asymptotes

a line that continually approaches a given curve but does not meet it at any finite distance.


He was staring at the ceiling again... )



katimus_prime: (Default)
New Years is quite often a solemn time for me. I always tend to screw up my life on particular holidays and spend years trying to paint over it with better things. New Years is the anniversary of my Big Breakdown, and I'm not sure if I want to write about it in great detail because I want to remember it or because I'm still having trouble understanding it. Maybe it's the fact that I now have actual clarity in my life that I'm unable to understand the absolute nonsense that I was mired in back then.

Cut for nonsense. )

TL;DR, believing too hard in a bad thing will fuck you up.
katimus_prime: (Dune - FUCK YEARH!)
Hello Dreamwidth!
It's been like, over 2 years since I've posted here? Work happened and Tumblr happened and new job happened and and and IDK, I just felt like posting something new and quasi-positive because looking back, I see a ton of negative posts.

Not sure what I did that's purged my negativity like woah (or at least allowed me to see my own negativity), but I can see some light and it's nice. :3
katimus_prime: (Kain - ...)
...I forgive you, but you have to understand that you made me very angry. And not only me, but the people closest to me, and I don't think you want to brave the forest of thorns to get back to me. Making a mess of things was your choice, not mine. If you blame it on me, then you're going to be disappointed when I don't blame it on myself. I am not on the defensive. You're the one who made the conscious choice to make this complicated, and I am not your subordinate.

...I forgive you, because all of that was my fault, and I apologize for wasting your time. I hope your scars heal cleanly and that you don't have any hard feelings.


...I forgive you, but only because I need to get on with my life and accept humanity as a whole. Making an exception to eject you from the rest of humanity takes too much effort, and you are so insignificant within its scale.

...I forgive you, because you were only trying to protect me and I reacted so immaturely.

...I forgive you, because none of it was really your doing at all.

...I forgive you, because I was too afraid to speak up for myself.

...I forgive you, because what you did allowed me to get something very important to me.

...I forgive you, because without you pushing me to the edge, I wouldn't have felt as bad for what I'd done.

...I forgive you, because you deserve to be forgiven. I'm the one who should ask your forgiveness, honestly. A lot of the time, I'm not so sure I have it, and I'm not sure why it upsets me so much that it means so much for me to have it. We are all equals in this place, and yet I still feel an unconscious attachment to you, even though we are far apart and we've caused each other so much pain.

...I forgive you, because one cannot truly perceive bliss without first experiencing excruciating pain.

...I forgive you, because I can't imagine what life would be like without you in it.
katimus_prime: (Nanami - DJ Nanami)
I feel like my internet-fu has frozen over. Time to thaw out.
Stolen from [personal profile] stitchedmoon! Comment and I'll ask you 5 questions!

These are what [personal profile] stitchedmoon asked me!


1. What is your favorite thing (or a favorite thing) about your house?
Probably the neck-high wood paneling. I feel like I'm at the Great Northern Hotel from Twin Peaks when I'm in my house. <3

2. What song (or songs) do you feel most accurately describes how you're feeling right now?
I'm sure tomorrow, I'll be feeling more like this, but I'm currently in a state of relaxment, so I have the Twin Peaks intro in mind since I brought up Twin Peaks (which consequentially inspired Apoptygma Berzerk's "Moment of Tranquility," which is also nice and relaxing, but angsty if you listen to the lyrics. I'm far from angsty, though.)

3. If you could spend a day with anyone (famous, non-famous, fictional or whatever), who would you want to hang out with and what would you want to do?
I think I'd either like to pal around with George Washington or Buddha. I can't decide. Like, hang out in the park and swing on swingsets or something. And like, meditate. |3

4. What is your favorite season or type of weather?

I'm partial to fall, but as I've gotten older, I've started to appreciate spring before things get sweltering. I used to hate heat and find cold invigorating, but now cold bites down on me and I have to cover up.

5. What would you like to be doing in 10 years?

I would like to be babysitting one of my kids while working on a painting while we had a fire going in our fireplace. |3
katimus_prime: (Yuriev - Diva)
Who has a Wii? :D
I'm 2191 1770 3493 1717!

Who has an XBOX 360? :D
I'm katimus_prime!
katimus_prime: (Cherenkov - D:)
Totally contrary to all the nice, happy things going on around me right now, it occurs to me that I haven't seen Babylon 5 in a long time, and that I really want to watch this particular episode of it again, because it is extra relevant, and possibly was a catalyst for my current set of interests.
katimus_prime: (Bleach - EEP)
I seem to have lost my phone again, and my weekend is mad busy. I will be checking my email like a madwoman, but I'm not sure if any solid blocks of me-on-the-internet will occur. If you need me, email me! D: If I need to get back to you, please remind me! :c

Utena FST

Aug. 3rd, 2009 04:58 pm
katimus_prime: (Unma)
I've felt like putting together an Utena FST. This is a work in progress and has spoilers. Feel free to suggest things! I'll link youtube vids to it soon!

Utena FST! )
katimus_prime: (Angeal - 1)
Wedding Related invitation nonsense has consumed me for the time being. Expect me to be a little distant on LJ and DA. If you need me and have my number, call me or text me. If you don't, email me. Things are batshit. D:

Anyway, I did finally manage to get my Otakon pictures up! They is here on my BRAND NEW FLICKR ACCOUNT! My con report ended up in the comments of the pictures here. ^^;
katimus_prime: (Cherenkov - <3)

Shion Uzuki


Shion Uzuki


You are Shion Uzuki
Age: 22
Shion is the main character of Episodes I and III. She is the one of the creators of KOS-MOS (the other being the late Kevin Winnicot), and chief of the KOS-MOS project in Xenosaga: Episode I. She is an idealistic woman, with strong opinions and holds life and does her best to uphold the rights of all sentient beings, human, Realian or android. She often jumps into situations based solely on emotion. Shion is very gifted, achieving a high rank within Vector at a young age. She was engaged to the late Kevin Winnicot, who was killed by an early KOS-MOS prototype. She continues the project in his memory. Her name is a type of Japanese daisy.


Which Xenosaga Party Member Are You?

katimus_prime: (Stripes - Lawn)
So, [personal profile] ocean_flute asked me recently if I had a list of the songs from Stripes. Away from my main computer at home, I had no choice but to compile my own from the internets. Back when I was writing Stripes, I was writing it in HTML and did this clever thing where I put a dark background on it, put the normal words in white, and put the scene separators in black so they'd be obscured by the background.

Cut on account of a long list and spoilers for this FF7 Fanfic that I started back like ten years ago. )

JSYK guys...this is the only thing I did today. :B
katimus_prime: (Dale Cooper)
Because this is one of those situations where I really should be concentrating on doing other things, my mind breaks off and my attention is focused on something completely different.

Cut for the zillion questions. )

Otakon!

Jul. 20th, 2009 12:03 pm
katimus_prime: (Cherenkov - <3)
I had a good time this year!
I'm mad broke, but I had a good time! :3
I met up with everyone I said I would, spent too much money on the first day, and spent a lot of time in the hotel room, but there was minimal drama, if any, and I spent a lot of it in line, but I got most of what I wanted that was in my means to get. :3 My pictures are on my camera, whose batteries have died just in time for the end of the con, but I'll revive it as soon as I find my charger and we'll have Otakon pics!

I don't have to work until Wednesday, but on Wednesday, I have to drive to Hunt Valley every day until August 8th or so.

I have one commission left from last year (I'm sorry it's so late, [profile] eibii!) but since I'm broke, I'll be taking more pretty soon.

PS, http://godsibb.net opened this weekend! Do the forum! Donate stuff! Do the Oekaki!
katimus_prime: (Cherenkov - Disconnected)
LOL BRB HAL EMMERICH.

I MEAN...

Otakon!

Sorry I haven't been around. D: Wedding Shower organizey stuff, real life, art and godsibb have taken over my internet life. :< I'll be back soon! I hope. ._.
katimus_prime: (Baron - Grin)
Anybody still want a Dreamwidth?
I has 5 invite codes!
First come, first serve.

Tardy~ D:

Jul. 3rd, 2009 02:19 am
katimus_prime: (Rydia - Poop)
Hello all,
I'm going to be running around trying to reply to all the correspondence I've gotten over the last week. Some very important stuff has been having to happen to me IRL and I haven't been able to catch up. Please be patient until I clean up the mess. T_T

I haven't been able to check my f-lists or twitter, so if something important has happened to you this week or last week and I missed it, I am sorry and I hope you're all doing okay. ::hugs::
katimus_prime: (Cherenkov - HAX)
So, like, I wonder...in Xenosaga, when the Gnosis started showing up and phasing through walls and shit, how the FUCK people survived or did anything without the Hilbert Effect.

Woglinde, you were the failboat incarnate.

Cherenkov, why are you more difficult to write up than Jin Uzuki?

This is secretly not another sneaky U-TIC advertisement for GODSIBB.NET! We're still lookin' for folks with stuff, and more people who want to do character write ups or scan stuff. <3

AS YOU CAN SEE, I'M QUITE TAKEN WITH THIS PROJECT.

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