katimus_prime: (Kahr)
Fuck, I wish I could stop getting stuck in this self-doubt spiral. Nothing has meaning, and that's a good thing, because if it did, I'd be in deep fucking trouble. Tumblr has told me that to keep myself motivated is imperialistic and abusive, and like a dumbass, I listened to it, but I need that little unkind voice in the back of my head that says "Get up, Bambi" and "Reach for it even though you'll never get it." I'd never turn that self-defense mechanism on anything but myself, but I've found myself just lying down, and I don't like myself when I'm like that. I need to get up, even if I can't stay up. I might doubt my self-worth, but staying down will just make my doubts about my own worth reality. I may be a piece of shit, but I deserve to exist, even if it is just to spite those who tell me I don't deserve to.


Date: 2016-02-15 06:12 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] wandererriha
wandererriha: Keep Calm & Drink Tea (Tea)
Brainweasels suck.

They are especially bad when they start gnawing on your Creatives.

*hugz* I only wish my stuff was half as good as yours. <3
I feel like Tumblr- fun as it can be- is best consumed in small, controlled doses. :P At least, that has been my experience thus far.

You are awesome. You deserve to be here and so much more. And if anyone says otherwise I will make like the Hobbit I am and hack them off at the kneecaps. :P

Date: 2016-02-15 08:22 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] novel_machinist
novel_machinist: (Default)
Do small things, even one little thing. Do it because you have to if you don't want to, do it out of spite if you have the energy, but do it. I know ymmv with depression and self doubt, but HAVING to do things, being forced in some way to do them even by being myself gives me the power to do them. If you need to vent, I'm here. If you need a kick in the ass, I'm here too. I have faith in you.

I'd stay off Tumblr, honestly. I've been so much better without it. You can't kittens and rainbows depression. You can't just look at cute things and escape all the time. It doesn't fix anything.

Date: 2016-02-15 09:03 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] whyfish
whyfish: (orz)
*hugs* I'm really glad you exist. <3

Yeah, tumblr has this all-or-nothing approach to The Discourse that's like Bush-administration with-us-or-against-us rhetoric and it drives me up the freaking wall. XD I've seen a few of those posts labeling any attempt to better yourself as being ableist and problematic and unfair to people who can't do that for whatever reason (there was one incident a while back where someone accused the OP of being neurotypical because they didn't realize that the OP was on medication for ADHD and was celebrating their ability to focus again, jfc). Which, like, I get that a certain kind of motivation isn't always effective in every circumstance, but there's also a point where you do have to apply a firm-yet-gentle force to get yourself out of that inertia, y'know? I get stuck in self-doubt hell a lot, and sometimes the most Extreme Self-Care thing I can do is get up and wash the dishes or clean up my work space, even if all I really want to do is lie down on the floor and sleep all day. I may not enjoy doing the former, but I'll feel better for doing it and have more capacity to do other things afterward. It's kind of like grinding in RPGs. (Also, speaking of questionable tumblr advice: http://xenosagaepisodeone.tumblr.com/post/139123551132)

tl;dr I think it's OK to have bad days and it's OK to need a break, but you don't have to let some punk ass kids on tumblr dictate how best to take care of yourself when you know your own needs and limitations better than they do. <3 I hope you feel better and get your motivation levels back! You're awesome and can do the things!

Date: 2016-03-14 12:33 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] whyfish
whyfish: (Doctus)
*huuuugs* I love you too. :> Yeah, The Discourse is a fickle and uncaring god and also pretty self-contradictory, so it's not worth your well-being or peace of mind to strive for tumblr cinnamon roll sainthood, y'know?

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